Unstuck
My brain likes to circulate. That’s my default response to how I like to think about things, go around and each time try to find newness until arriving to a solution. As a side effect, this way of problem solving has probably trained my brain to overthink. It’s a give and take.
I had been circulating here and there throughout my trip. In search of an answer to the things that had been troubling me the past few weeks. Finally a day before my trip ended it clicked.
I was talking to my friend Xerx and just had a moment of realization, it was nice. Xerx is one of my closest friends, we’ve seen each other through the most unhinged of moments. It’s nice to have a friendship like that in my life, thank you Xerx.
I finally felt unstuck. I had been focusing on external factors, which had left me in a state of turmoil. What I needed to do was focus on myself and a part of me that was unbalanced and needed care, then trust that would guide me and that everything would fall into place as it always has and always will. It seems like a very obvious solution looking at it now, I attract what I am. The external world created by the internal state.
I craved the ocean more than ever after this little epiphany. The next day I woke up at 5:30am and took an Uber to the ocean, found a tiny bay shaped area and submerged myself in it, I was alone in the ocean, some surfers further up, but no one near me. I sang the sounds that wanted to come out. Then I laid on the beach for a while before heading to the airport. The perfect way to end this trip.
Sunday, July 16, 2023
Malibu Beach, California