The night I unknowingly crossed paths with Miguel

in

Memory from November 18, 2021

In our early stage of dating, Miguel had picked me up, we were passing by Arbella and I mentioned I had dj’d there before. That’s when he made a realization that he had seen me there. At first I didn’t believe him, I had only dj’d at Arbella once and I had only been there a hand full of times. But he kept insisting, describing the scenery he had seen me in, where I was, what I was doing and then I became curious. I asked him if he knew what day of the week he had been there and he couldn’t recall it. I had only ever gone to Arbella on Thursdays. I refused to give him any help so he could recall the date to it’s most authentic form, so he pulled out his phone. He had gone with his barber so he looked at their text messages, November 18, 2021, the day I went to Arbella for my friend Alyssa / Jillan’s Birthday. 

The day to me, unknowing to him, had more significance than just that. During this time in my life I had been finding myself grieving a certain situation. That day, I had spoken to my mom. We had a long conversation about life and love. My mom is a very religious woman now, very different from the woman who raised me in my early years, so at times I had found it difficult to have these conversations with her without her trying to convert me as an end goal. But this time I felt really heard by her, and the conversation resonated with me, it brought me peace. After hours on the phone I told her I needed to get ready, so she left me with this request, to go to St. Peter’s Catholic Church downtown and talk to God, I decided to give her that, so I promised her I would. I did have a period of my life when I was younger that I was religious, my religious era, around the age of 15-20 I recall having many moments where I would lay in bed before going to sleep, talking outloud to God about all sorts of things. So that night before going to Arbella I made the long detour walk to St. Peter’s Cathedral. But when I got there the doors were closed and locked, interesting sense of humor the universe has sometimes. So I silently sent my words before leaving. November 18, 2021. 

I’m glad I didn’t meet Miguel there, that night, it wouldn’t have been the right time. When I decided to start dating, my friend Karen pushed me to finally join a dating app, something I had been skeptical to do, and my friend Daniel told me to try Hinge, where I met Miguel. Thank you.

St. Peter’s Cathedral door November 18, 2021 at 7:26pm

The Pink Moon: Guidance from the Moon and the Ocean

in

Yesterday was the pink moon. This year, I’ve been more intentional about tracking the moon stages. That is because last year, I noticed certain patterns I was having with the moon.

This year, around the time when my curiosity of the moon was starting, a mysterious stranger came into my life coincidentally at the exact moment when I needed it. Due to a series of events I had found myself with no phone or wallet, nothing but the little white jacket I was wearing in the cold, within seconds, I saw a car pull up to drop off some people, I went up to it and explained my situation to this stranger and he told me to get in. On the car ride, he told me his name was Shawn but he went by Casper because growing up his friends gave him the alias after the friendly ghost, since he was one of the few white kids. I don’t remember how we got into this conversation, but in the short ride he shared he had had a heart transplant after working construction in Colorado. He told me he had died while on the operation table and recalled being pulled into a tunnel. Later, by some form, he came across media where he recognized the tunnel he had been pulled into, it was a tunnel in Mexico and the name referenced the moon. He dropped me off safely and refused I get some cash to pay him, he was a kind man and I left him with these parting words: “follow the moon”. I’m not exactly sure what that meant but we all have our own patterns to find, so maybe he knew what it meant.

The moon like the ocean have been guiding presence in my life. So today I will recount a memory I recalled a few weeks ago, and that marks the 2nd anniversary of this recent pink moon. I haven’t talked much about this here and I won’t do it now, but in brief, I was in a very long relationship in my life that I had started at the young age of 17. I learned many beautiful things in this relationship, and I am grateful for those experiences but it took a lot of time for me to choose to walk away from this.

I thank the ocean and the moon for guiding me, the first time that I swam in the ocean, April 18, 2021, I remember sitting on the beach with ocean water dripping out of my nose and this clarity about this situation, a certain acceptance I had never fully experienced before. I was still in a relationship at this point but I had come to terms with it internally. The first time I ever tracked feeling that level of acceptance. When I returned from my trip I could see things falling into the same patterns but my perspective had changed, it was the full moon, the night of the Super pink moon, April 26, 2021, after going to see the moon over Lake Michigan when I finally ended things. It was the guidance I needed.

Guidance from the moon and the ocean, thank you pink moon. <3

The Pink Moon on April 5, 2023 over lake Michigan at 9:10pm

Screaming in the Car

in

Okay, to preface, for a very long time I’ve had this desire to go somewhere secluded and scream at the top of my lungs until all the air is out. I think I just imagined it to be a nice little euphoric release of some sort. I’ve never done it, the alternative seemed to be to scream in the privacy of my home but I’ve lived in multi-unit buildings all my life and never felt comfortable for fear of alarming my neighbors. So this little desire stayed just that for a very long time until a few months ago when this idea popped into my head and I said fuck it and just screamed to the top of my lungs while driving on the highway in the privacy of my car. I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before, I’ve used my car countless times to cry in but never thought of screaming in it. It felt really good. I won’t lie, part of me was a little hesitant, and still am sometimes to do so. The other day I did it and the car in front of me’s brake lights came on so it made me a little paranoid that I had been heard, but that was quickly calmed when I realized the reason for the sudden stop had been due to an exit closure and not my horrific scream. I still hope to some day live out my little desire to the fullest but until then I’m going to continue to do this and if you ever feel like screaming in your car, I highly recommend, feels really good, my lungs feel cleared, my head sometimes a little dizzy but we’re good and I get a little jolt of energy so 10/10 recommend. 

Monyeka's new photo studio

in

KAREN/ MONYEKA GOT A PHOTO STUDIO IN CHICAGO!!!!!

This shoot was fun, because we just had fun with it, it was Karen’s first shoot in her new space and I’m so honored that she asked to shoot me. I now have photos to feel hot when I’m 100-something looking back on my youth.

Book with her here, have her shoot your project and if you get lucky she may end up inviting you to her favorite spot in Chicago, that I now dub “Karen’s spot” and I think of her every time I pass by it. <3

Thank you for having me to be your first shoot in the space. This year will be amazing for you!!!

Follow her on insta, she may be doing a giveaway very soon. 🧚‍♀️

Insta: @monyeka_
Website: www.monyeka.com
Email: monyekaphoto@gmail.com



Wendy's Annual Friends & Family Calendar

in

This year’s Friends and Family Calendars are out!

Each calendar is 1/1 edition, with a personalized note. 30 Calendars, hand sewn and bound by yours truly. My little labor of love. Thank you so much to all of you for being amazing people and for your kindness. I hope you enjoy it and that it brings a little joy into your space.

If there are empty days, write something good that happened to you that day, a dream, something to remember. At the end of the year, you can keep the calendar as a small memento of 2023.

Hoping to produce a larger batch for next year’s annual calendar. Love and appreciate you all.Besos <3

Red room window performances on Michigan Avenue’s Mag Mile

in

In my free time I like to indulge the assortment of ideas that pop into my head.

I have a studio unit in a very visible-high traffic street in downtown Chicago and this window is visible from the street. A bed is pressed up against the window and I don’t have blinds so I’m sure many strangers have seen many snippets of my life through this glass.

The idea was inspired by my time in Amsterdam, to dance for the people walking on Mag Mile through the comfort of my window. It came to me at a time when many things had shut down and one of the ways to connect was through means of windows. I documented this little session of me dancing to the song “Europa” by Santana and I had a few onlookers who waved at me. It was a fun production.

The Sun of Zicatela

in

I haven’t felt the desire to go into my physical art studio space at Mana for some time now so I’ve been creating in other spaces. Occasionally, I’ll host sleep overs at my little condo in Streeterville with friends. The other day my friend Xerx and I had an art night at my studio and I worked on this piece. Xerx is a florist for a company in Chinatown so occasionally after work we’ll smoke some weed, listen to music or go for a walk around the neighborhood. The other day we did a late night walk and eyed the fresh floral arrangements in the condo lobbies and the way the architecture of the buildings looked when it’s lit facing away from the ground.

For this art session Xerx brought a bunch of old magazines he had and made a collage piece. I was inspired to make a painting by The Temple of Flora Illustrations I had seen lining the Chicago Botanic Garden library’s upper wall. I swiped through image I had taken in Puerto Escondido and landed on one I took while I was walking down the Zicatela beach. I used it as a reference and placed a red poppy anemone in the scene. I love the anemone flower for compositions, they remind me of eyes, and in person they look so alive and awake.

El Sol de Zicatela. 2022. Oil on Canvas Paper. 12 x 16in.

Xerx’s collage material, shout out to Mina Le’s video playing in the background

Can you guess which one’s me?

Pictures from our late night walk

My other Experiments with Anemones

June 18, 2021

June 18, 2021

The Temple of Flora

The Temple of Flora by Robert John Thornton

Yesterday I went to the Botanic Garden. The Botanic Garden has always been a little refuge for me, a refuge from the city, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I want to daydream, it’s a nice little sanctuary. So yesterday after feeling all sorts of things the past few days I decided to take myself there. It was cold, and as expected there weren’t any flowers. I decided to go inside one of the main buildings and somehow wandered my way into the library. I think I was meant to stumble in there. When I walked in I noticed there were these beautiful prints along the perimeter. They very much reminded me of the world I am in when I make my work. After my poor attempt to document these, I decided to ask the librarian about them. She was super helpful, pulling out this large Taschen book. She told me the paintings were the first instance of flowers placed in a landscape for scientific illustration. The book, originally titled “New Illustration of the Sexual System” and later renamed “The Temple of Flora” was produced in 1807 and contains pages of these paintings. I spent a few hours studying the images until the library closed. I wanted to share some of the pictures I took that serve as inspiration for the new collection I am working on. Enjoy :)

Majority of the paintings shown here are by the painter Peter Charles Henderson (active 1791-1829)

If you’d like to take a look at the digital version of this book you can find it for free here :)

Studio 420B Closed

Studio 420B Closed

After two years, I ended my lease at the studio I was sharing in Mana Contemporary. I was rarely going into the space and the times I was I felt uninspired. The studio served it’s purpose. New Beginings. Much love 420B.

 

Movie Review: “Hausu”

“Hausu” a 1977 film by Nobuhiko Obayashi

I watched “Hausu” for the first time last night. The movie is described as a “hallucinatory headtrip” by the Criterion, it is also in Japanese, a language I do not know very well. So I dived into this fully expecting to be lost on the first try but the movie was pretty easy to follow.

The story is about Gorgeous and her group of girl friends who go to visit her estranged aunt for a summer vacation. On the way there Gorgeous tells the girls of her aunt’s love story and the promise she made to her lover to wait forever for his return from the war, her lover never returned and she remained in the house waiting. The girls arrive at the home and upon arrival things start occurring. I won’t spoil the rest of the film but I would recommend watching, it’s a good watch. 

To be honest, part of the reason I fully enjoyed this movie is because it’s dark in content but the way the story is told is not traditionally “scary” (I get scared so easily but I like scary stories, it’s a paradox I’ve lived with all my life). So if you are looking for a movie to keep you up at night, this will not be it. 

The movie itself plays with elements of film you don’t traditionally see in the horror genre. There’s scenes that feel like they are more aligned to a kids tv show than a horror movie but that’s the beauty of the movie. It’s charmingly playful with its effects. Even the music is lighthearted at times. I very much enjoyed watching this and it's a movie I would watch again, which is very telling.

Overall movie rating: 9/10 

Movie Review: “Bell, Book and Candle”

Film Review: “Bell, Book and Candle”
a 1958 film by Richard Quine

I watched another movie, this one technically takes place around Christmas, but it’s about witches so I decided it fits the genre.

“Bell, Book and Candle” is a 1958 film by Richard Quine about a witch named Gillian who lives in New York. The premise: Gillian fancies her upstairs neighbor, Shepard, she finds out he’s dating a girl she didn’t like from schooldays, decides to enchant him to fall in love with her on the night that just so happens to be the eve of his wedding, he breaks up with his girl, is head over heels infatuated with Gillian, then Gillian ends up telling him she’s a witch and confessing to the spell, Shepard goes to break the spell, breaks the spell, tries to get back with his ex-fiance, she doesn’t want him anymore so then he goes back to Gillian who’s heartbrokenly in love with him at this point and that’s their love story. I’m told it’s a romantic comedy. 

The story wasn’t super captivating but there were some scenes I was a fan of, particularly the scene where Gillian enchants Shepard using her cat. It’s shot in a really mesmerizing way. The costume design was also really nice, Gillian is styled in some nice pieces and so I enjoyed watching this for the fashion. Some select screengrabs, enjoy :)

Overall movie rating: 5/10

Movie Review: “Daughter’s of Darkness”

Film Review: Daughter’s of Darkness
a 1971 film by Harry Kümel

If you know me personally you know I LOVEEEEEE this time of year. And because I was feeling in the season I decided to finally put my Criterion subscription to good use and watched “Daughter’s of Darkness.”, a 1971 erotic horror film by Belgian film director Harry Kümel and art directed by one of my favorite french singers, Françoise Hardy. I’m so glad I picked this movie because it was everything I was craving. 

The story itself is pretty easy to follow, it takes place in a hotel in which the 4 main characters seem to be the only guests staying there. The movie is about an ageless bisexual vampire Countess Elizabeth, played by the lovely Delphine Seyrig, and her accomplice Llona played by Andrea Rau who charm there way into the lives of two young newlyweds. The music has that eerie psycho-thriller energy reminiscent of movies made during the time. The art direction, the art direction is chef’s kiss. I found myself building mental moodboards of everything from the interiors, glassware, and of course, their outfits.

The Countess’ looks were my favorite, the type of wardrobe I aspire to have when I’m a hot 70 y/o with a collection full of playful garments to dress up in. And because I was so inspired, I decided to share with you some of my favorite looks (and some screen grabs), a small ode to Countess Elizabeth and her stunning outfits.

Overall Movie Rating: 8/10

Charcoal drawings and my Midnight series

May 4, 2021 - ongoing

I began making these charcoal drawings sometime in May of 2021. They were created as a response to the on and off again relationship with oil paint. At the time I mistakenly considered charcoal inferior to oil paint and as a way to get “unstuck” I decided to use a medium that I didn’t care as much for, that that would be forgiving and easy to handle—one where I could detach myself from the expectations of the end result.

The first few drawings were part of my “midnight art practice”. I would go into the studio late into the night, at a time where my mind would be more open and I could get lost in the work. I worked with the lights off and a soft spotlight illuminating my work area. At times I would use music as a tool of transportation. It was usually some non lyrical new age instrumental sound, a particular favorite being a Family Style Radio mix from Meilgaarden titled “Sound Gymnastics”, occasionally I would play the albums: “Jeanette: 20 Éxitos Originales” or “Historias De Amor” by Los Angeles Negros, Los Terricolas & Los Pasteles Verdes but often times I worked in silence.

I referred to these as “sketches” for a week before throwing that title out. Because the reality was, I was very fond of these drawings. These drawings held an essence of myself that was guided and these pieces were not sketches, they were drawings and they were the best work to come from the studio up until this point. Charcoal also did something for me oil could not do at the time, they took me to a flow state, one where I could completely surrender myself to the unknown.

Road Trip 2022

30 days on the road
July 23, - August 21

Denver and Boulder / Zion National Park / Palm Springs / Tijuana, Ensenada and Rosarito, Mexico/ San Diego / Phoenix / Santa Fe / Colorado City / Home

Photos using Olympus Stylus Epic and 35mm Portra 400 film

Meet me in St. Louis.

Meet me in St. Louis.

I had never been to St. Louis before, it’s not really a place I ever thought of going. But this little weekend trip was fun. I did loose my weed pen in the process but it was a sacrifice well made. Guidance.

Dream Journal : The woman on the wing of a plane

Dream: The woman on the wing of a plane

The other night I had a dream where I woke up in a weird sense of grief. I was a passenger on a plane that was “docked” on a tall platform in the middle of a city. The plane sat on top of the platform to the same height as some of the buildings. It was not in operation and passengers of the plane were free to go in and out of it since it was at it’s “stop”. I guess I was inside the plane the moment it chose to “undock” and the plane was headed down in spiral motions around the platform and in the middle of the city. There wasn’t a lot of room for the plane to fly and do these turns, but we weren’t hitting any buildings. I was a bit scared in this part of my dream, but there wasn’t much I could do. Then the plane landed on the ground onto a runway where the plane could take off. There was a small sense of safety, we were going super slow on the runway and a woman who I had assumed was also a passenger pulled up next to the plane in her mint green car. She waved it down, much like someone waves down a bus when it’s leaving without you. The plane was going slow enough that she was able to catch up to it and sit on the plane wing on the outside of the plane. She seemed content and relived that she had made it to the plane on time. Then the plane took off and she fell to her death. Something about that in my dream sat with me for a few moments after waking up and lingered throughout the day. I kept thinking about that woman, and how the last moments of her life were for her. I wondered if there was a moment of realization where she realized this was it. I questioned why she thought that was a good idea. there was a big “why did she do that?” question in my head. I felt uneasy, she had seemed so happy to have made it on the plane, she was not trying to die, she had life in her. I kept thinking about the fear she must have felt when she realized. It left me feeling unsettled.

The moon over Lake Michigan, June 15, 2022

A walk with Zanah

A walk with Zanah

I met Zanah earlier last year, when my studio mate Daniel invited her to come visit after meeting her in LA. I remember Daniel telling me “I feel like you and Zanah would get along, you have similar energy”. Zanah is a dancer like me, she moves to the music, feels it. Zanah recently became a fellow studio neighbor after moving back to Chicago from LA so we’ve been able to hang out more and get to know each other. On this day we decided to pack a blunt and go for a little lake walk. We were originally supposed to have a plein air painting session, but plans change and we’re both okay with spontaneity. We talked about a lot of things during our little walk up the lake. She mentioned she had read my website and that she really enjoyed it. It was really nice to hear. I’m not really sure who reads what I write on here but I appreciate you. She then showered me with super sweet words and in my response I came to realize that this website is a bit of a memoir of my time here on earth and my existence. It was a nice little realization and now I am memorializing the moment in the best way I know how. Thank you Zanah.

A picture from our walk on the lake June 2 2022

In Honor of my Mom’s Birthday:Memory from the first time my mom tried an edible December 19, 2021

In Honor of my Mom’s Birthday:
Memory from the first time my mom tried an edible
December 19, 2021

This past weekend was my mom’s birthday, my mom has been a guiding character in my life, we’ve had our fair share of moments in my upbringing. We’re both curious women. I am more actionary with my curiosity than she is. But she’s curious. My mom had never in her life tried weed. I think in her earlier years she may have been more easily persuaded had it been accessible to her, but now as a super religious Catholic woman it’s a curiosity that had stayed in the back of her mind. Last December she came to my place for a weekend sleepover. I had some gummies from my trip to LA and on the last day she was staying I offered her some, I had offered my mom weed in the past and she had declined but this time she accepted. The gummies were 10 mg each so I decided we would split one in half. Then I took her on my usual walk down to the lake. I had some leftover B&W film in the camera from LA so I took that too (these shown are digital). The gummies hit at some point during our walk and then we made our way down Michigan Ave and ended at the Starbucks where we had an affogato. It was a really nice little adventure with my mom that day. It took a few months for me to drop off and pick up this film that’s been sitting there waiting for me to pick up, for no real reason other than I hadn’t made the time to do it. I think in some of the film we were doing some experimental poses, not 100% sure. Happy Birthday Mom.

GIFs are digital (B&W film not shown)

Oaxaca Photo Summary

Oaxaca Photo Summary

1. Casa Wabi designed by Tadao Ando
Salina Cruz - Santiago Pinotepa Nacional Km 113, 71983 Puerto Escondido, Oax., Mexico

2. Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca
A photo summary