May 4, 2021 - ongoing

I began making these charcoal drawings sometime in May of 2021. They were created as a response to the on and off again relationship with oil paint. At the time I mistakenly considered charcoal inferior to oil paint and as a way to get “unstuck” I decided to use a medium that I didn’t care as much for, that that would be forgiving and easy to handle—one where I could detach myself from the expectations of the end result.

The first few drawings were part of my “midnight art practice”. I would go into the studio late into the night, at a time where my mind would be more open and I could get lost in the work. I worked with the lights off and a soft spotlight illuminating my work area. At times I would use music as a tool of transportation. It was usually some non lyrical new age instrumental sound, a particular favorite being a Family Style Radio mix from Meilgaarden titled “Sound Gymnastics”, occasionally I would play the albums: “Jeanette: 20 Éxitos Originales” or “Historias De Amor” by Los Angeles Negros, Los Terricolas & Los Pasteles Verdes but often times I worked in silence.

I referred to these as “sketches” for a week before throwing that title out. Because the reality was, I was very fond of these drawings. These drawings held an essence of myself that was guided and these pieces were not sketches, they were drawings and they were the best work to come from the studio up until this point. Charcoal also did something for me oil could not do at the time, they took me to a flow state, one where I could completely surrender myself to the unknown.