Red room window performances on Michigan Avenue’s Mag Mile

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In my free time I like to indulge the assortment of ideas that pop into my head.

I have a studio unit in a very visible-high traffic street in downtown Chicago and this window is visible from the street. A bed is pressed up against the window and I don’t have blinds so I’m sure many strangers have seen many snippets of my life through this glass.

The idea was inspired by my time in Amsterdam, to dance for the people walking on Mag Mile through the comfort of my window. It came to me at a time when many things had shut down and one of the ways to connect was through means of windows. I documented this little session of me dancing to the song “Europa” by Santana and I had a few onlookers who waved at me. It was a fun production.

The Sun of Zicatela

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I haven’t felt the desire to go into my physical art studio space at Mana for some time now so I’ve been creating in other spaces. Occasionally, I’ll host sleep overs at my little condo in Streeterville with friends. The other day my friend Xerx and I had an art night at my studio and I worked on this piece. Xerx is a florist for a company in Chinatown so occasionally after work we’ll smoke some weed, listen to music or go for a walk around the neighborhood. The other day we did a late night walk and eyed the fresh floral arrangements in the condo lobbies and the way the architecture of the buildings looked when it’s lit facing away from the ground.

For this art session Xerx brought a bunch of old magazines he had and made a collage piece. I was inspired to make a painting by The Temple of Flora Illustrations I had seen lining the Chicago Botanic Garden library’s upper wall. I swiped through image I had taken in Puerto Escondido and landed on one I took while I was walking down the Zicatela beach. I used it as a reference and placed a red poppy anemone in the scene. I love the anemone flower for compositions, they remind me of eyes, and in person they look so alive and awake.

El Sol de Zicatela. 2022. Oil on Canvas Paper. 12 x 16in.

Xerx’s collage material, shout out to Mina Le’s video playing in the background

Can you guess which one’s me?

Pictures from our late night walk

My other Experiments with Anemones

June 18, 2021

June 18, 2021

The Temple of Flora

The Temple of Flora by Robert John Thornton

Yesterday I went to the Botanic Garden. The Botanic Garden has always been a little refuge for me, a refuge from the city, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I want to daydream, it’s a nice little sanctuary. So yesterday after feeling all sorts of things the past few days I decided to take myself there. It was cold, and as expected there weren’t any flowers. I decided to go inside one of the main buildings and somehow wandered my way into the library. I think I was meant to stumble in there. When I walked in I noticed there were these beautiful prints along the perimeter. They very much reminded me of the world I am in when I make my work. After my poor attempt to document these, I decided to ask the librarian about them. She was super helpful, pulling out this large Taschen book. She told me the paintings were the first instance of flowers placed in a landscape for scientific illustration. The book, originally titled “New Illustration of the Sexual System” and later renamed “The Temple of Flora” was produced in 1807 and contains pages of these paintings. I spent a few hours studying the images until the library closed. I wanted to share some of the pictures I took that serve as inspiration for the new collection I am working on. Enjoy :)

Majority of the paintings shown here are by the painter Peter Charles Henderson (active 1791-1829)

If you’d like to take a look at the digital version of this book you can find it for free here :)

Studio 420B Closed

Studio 420B Closed

After two years, I ended my lease at the studio I was sharing in Mana Contemporary. I was rarely going into the space and the times I was I felt uninspired. The studio served it’s purpose. New Beginings. Much love 420B.

 

Movie Review: “Hausu”

“Hausu” a 1977 film by Nobuhiko Obayashi

I watched “Hausu” for the first time last night. The movie is described as a “hallucinatory headtrip” by the Criterion, it is also in Japanese, a language I do not know very well. So I dived into this fully expecting to be lost on the first try but the movie was pretty easy to follow.

The story is about Gorgeous and her group of girl friends who go to visit her estranged aunt for a summer vacation. On the way there Gorgeous tells the girls of her aunt’s love story and the promise she made to her lover to wait forever for his return from the war, her lover never returned and she remained in the house waiting. The girls arrive at the home and upon arrival things start occurring. I won’t spoil the rest of the film but I would recommend watching, it’s a good watch. 

To be honest, part of the reason I fully enjoyed this movie is because it’s dark in content but the way the story is told is not traditionally “scary” (I get scared so easily but I like scary stories, it’s a paradox I’ve lived with all my life). So if you are looking for a movie to keep you up at night, this will not be it. 

The movie itself plays with elements of film you don’t traditionally see in the horror genre. There’s scenes that feel like they are more aligned to a kids tv show than a horror movie but that’s the beauty of the movie. It’s charmingly playful with its effects. Even the music is lighthearted at times. I very much enjoyed watching this and it's a movie I would watch again, which is very telling.

Overall movie rating: 9/10 

Movie Review: “Bell, Book and Candle”

Film Review: “Bell, Book and Candle”
a 1958 film by Richard Quine

I watched another movie, this one technically takes place around Christmas, but it’s about witches so I decided it fits the genre.

“Bell, Book and Candle” is a 1958 film by Richard Quine about a witch named Gillian who lives in New York. The premise: Gillian fancies her upstairs neighbor, Shepard, she finds out he’s dating a girl she didn’t like from schooldays, decides to enchant him to fall in love with her on the night that just so happens to be the eve of his wedding, he breaks up with his girl, is head over heels infatuated with Gillian, then Gillian ends up telling him she’s a witch and confessing to the spell, Shepard goes to break the spell, breaks the spell, tries to get back with his ex-fiance, she doesn’t want him anymore so then he goes back to Gillian who’s heartbrokenly in love with him at this point and that’s their love story. I’m told it’s a romantic comedy. 

The story wasn’t super captivating but there were some scenes I was a fan of, particularly the scene where Gillian enchants Shepard using her cat. It’s shot in a really mesmerizing way. The costume design was also really nice, Gillian is styled in some nice pieces and so I enjoyed watching this for the fashion. Some select screengrabs, enjoy :)

Overall movie rating: 5/10

Movie Review: “Daughter’s of Darkness”

Film Review: Daughter’s of Darkness
a 1971 film by Harry Kümel

If you know me personally you know I LOVEEEEEE this time of year. And because I was feeling in the season I decided to finally put my Criterion subscription to good use and watched “Daughter’s of Darkness.”, a 1971 erotic horror film by Belgian film director Harry Kümel and art directed by one of my favorite french singers, Françoise Hardy. I’m so glad I picked this movie because it was everything I was craving. 

The story itself is pretty easy to follow, it takes place in a hotel in which the 4 main characters seem to be the only guests staying there. The movie is about an ageless bisexual vampire Countess Elizabeth, played by the lovely Delphine Seyrig, and her accomplice Llona played by Andrea Rau who charm there way into the lives of two young newlyweds. The music has that eerie psycho-thriller energy reminiscent of movies made during the time. The art direction, the art direction is chef’s kiss. I found myself building mental moodboards of everything from the interiors, glassware, and of course, their outfits.

The Countess’ looks were my favorite, the type of wardrobe I aspire to have when I’m a hot 70 y/o with a collection full of playful garments to dress up in. And because I was so inspired, I decided to share with you some of my favorite looks (and some screen grabs), a small ode to Countess Elizabeth and her stunning outfits.

Overall Movie Rating: 8/10

Charcoal drawings and my Midnight series

May 4, 2021 - ongoing

I began making these charcoal drawings sometime in May of 2021. They were created as a response to the on and off again relationship with oil paint. I wanted to be able to use a medium that I didn’t care as much for, that that would be forgiving and easy to handle—where I could focus on making an image and less about the technical aspects behind it.

The first few drawings were part of my “midnight art practice”. I would go into the studio late into the night, at a time where my mind would be more open and I could get lost in the work. I worked with the lights off and a soft spotlight illuminating the work area. At times I would use music as a tool of transportation. The music I played was usually in the form of some non lyrical new age instrumental sound, a particular favorite being a Family Style Radio mix from Meilgaarden titled “Sound Gymnastics” but occasionally I would play the albums: “Jeanette: 20 Éxitos Originales” or “Historias De Amor” by Los Angeles Negros, Los Terricolas & Los Pasteles Verdes.

When I first started making these I would talk about them as sketches, but the reality was that I was very fond of these drawings. These drawings held an essence of myself that felt fluid, guided. I knew these pieces were not sketches, they were drawings and they were the best work to come from the studio up until this point. These drawings also did something for me oil could not do at the time, they took me to a flow. Charcoal took me out of my head, the medium provided the most direct path of articulating the visions outside of me. As if I was guided by the unknown. I took up a relationship with charcoal, seeing it as a fellow collaborator.

Road Trip 2022

30 days on the road
July 23, - August 21

Denver and Boulder / Zion National Park / Palm Springs / Tijuana, Ensenada and Rosarito, Mexico/ San Diego / Phoenix / Santa Fe / Colorado City / Home

Photos using Olympus Stylus Epic and 35mm Portra 400 film

Meet me in St. Louis.

Meet me in St. Louis.

I had never been to St. Louis before, it’s not really a place I ever thought of going. But this little weekend trip was fun. I did loose my weed pen in the process but it was a sacrifice well made. Guidance.

Dream Journal : The woman on the wing of a plane

Dream: The woman on the wing of a plane

The other night I had a dream where I woke up in a weird sense of grief. I was a passenger on a plane that was “docked” on a tall platform in the middle of a city. The plane sat on top of the platform to the same height as some of the buildings. It was not in operation and passengers of the plane were free to go in and out of it since it was at it’s “stop”. I guess I was inside the plane the moment it chose to “undock” and the plane was headed down in spiral motions around the platform and in the middle of the city. There wasn’t a lot of room for the plane to fly and do these turns, but we weren’t hitting any buildings. I was a bit scared in this part of my dream, but there wasn’t much I could do. Then the plane landed on the ground onto a runway where the plane could take off. There was a small sense of safety, we were going super slow on the runway and a woman who I had assumed was also a passenger pulled up next to the plane in her mint green car. She waved it down, much like someone waves down a bus when it’s leaving without you. The plane was going slow enough that she was able to catch up to it and sit on the plane wing on the outside of the plane. She seemed content and relived that she had made it to the plane on time. Then the plane took off and she fell to her death. Something about that in my dream sat with me for a few moments after waking up and lingered throughout the day. I kept thinking about that woman, and how the last moments of her life were for her. I wondered if there was a moment of realization where she realized this was it. I questioned why she thought that was a good idea. there was a big “why did she do that?” question in my head. I felt uneasy, she had seemed so happy to have made it on the plane, she was not trying to die, she had life in her. I kept thinking about the fear she must have felt when she realized. It left me feeling unsettled.

The moon over Lake Michigan, June 15, 2022

A walk with Zanah

A walk with Zanah

I met Zanah earlier last year, when my studio mate Daniel invited her to come visit after meeting her in LA. I remember Daniel telling me “I feel like you and Zanah would get along, you have similar energy”. Zanah is a dancer like me, she moves to the music, feels it. Zanah recently became a fellow studio neighbor after moving back to Chicago from LA so we’ve been able to hang out more and get to know each other. On this day we decided to pack a blunt and go for a little lake walk. We were originally supposed to have a plein air painting session, but plans change and we’re both okay with spontaneity. We talked about a lot of things during our little walk up the lake. She mentioned she had read my website and that she really enjoyed it. It was really nice to hear. I’m not really sure who reads what I write on here but I appreciate you. She then showered me with super sweet words and in my response I came to realize that this website is a bit of a memoir of my time here on earth and my existence. It was a nice little realization and now I am memorializing the moment in the best way I know how. Thank you Zanah.

A picture from our walk on the lake June 2 2022

In Honor of my Mom’s Birthday:Memory from the first time my mom tried an edible December 19, 2021

In Honor of my Mom’s Birthday:
Memory from the first time my mom tried an edible
December 19, 2021

This past weekend was my mom’s birthday, my mom has been a guiding character in my life, we’ve had our fair share of moments in my upbringing. We’re both curious women. I am more actionary with my curiosity than she is. But she’s curious. My mom had never in her life tried weed. I think in her earlier years she may have been more easily persuaded had it been accessible to her, but now as a super religious Catholic woman it’s a curiosity that had stayed in the back of her mind. Last December she came to my place for a weekend sleepover. I had some gummies from my trip to LA and on the last day she was staying I offered her some, I had offered my mom weed in the past and she had declined but this time she accepted. The gummies were 10 mg each so I decided we would split one in half. Then I took her on my usual walk down to the lake. I had some leftover B&W film in the camera from LA so I took that too (these shown are digital). The gummies hit at some point during our walk and then we made our way down Michigan Ave and ended at the Starbucks where we had an affogato. It was a really nice little adventure with my mom that day. It took a few months for me to drop off and pick up this film that’s been sitting there waiting for me to pick up, for no real reason other than I hadn’t made the time to do it. I think in some of the film we were doing some experimental poses, not 100% sure. Happy Birthday Mom.

GIFs are digital (B&W film not shown)

Oaxaca Photo Summary

Oaxaca Photo Summary

1. Casa Wabi designed by Tadao Ando
Salina Cruz - Santiago Pinotepa Nacional Km 113, 71983 Puerto Escondido, Oax., Mexico

2. Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca
A photo summary

Lessons from the Ocean: Stillness


Lessons from the Ocean: Stillness
Reflection from 2022 Oaxaca: Zicatella and Carizalillo

This year has been different for me. My mind likes to be busy. Naturally, I feel like that is what works for me, it’s what I like to do. I love to daydream. I thrive in my alone time because my alone time gives me time to do these things that help guide my life. I also like to be with friends and go to places that excite the different interests I have. But for the most part, I was used to doing a lot of things on my own and I felt comfortable in that space. 

I started dating again earlier this year. In my mind, the goal has always been a healthy relationship with someone I could see as a life partner. But to be honest, I was just curious as to what dating looked like and meeting people.

Through this little curious process I did meet someone and I’ve been enjoying my time with him. There has been a tiny shift in me. I’m not sure how to explain this, but I haven’t been spending the amount of time I was used to on my own, and to be super honest, it felt a bit foreign.

As this trip I had planned was nearing, I felt this pull in two directions. I wanted to give space to the thing that had called me to make this trip in the first place but I also wanted to just stay in the moment. I was feeling a push and pull within me up until a few days before my trip when I finally decided what I wanted this trip to be for me, some time to spend painting by the ocean.

When I arrived I spent the first few days of my arrival painting in Zicatela. The water in Zicatela is far from still, the waves generally come in strong, it’s primarily known as a surf beach. There are also currents that form and move up and down the stretch of water. Swimming in that water is not easy or really advised to people unfamiliar with it. It took me a few days of observing the water before finally deciding to go in. The pull is strong, and in order to avoid getting hit by the waves every few seconds you have to swim further into the ocean, something that I didn’t feel safe doing with the constant currents that occur. When I did get in it was brief. After a few days there I decided to have a beach day where I could swim and headed over to Carizalillo.

Carizalillo is a small bay where the waves come in softer. It is still a surf beach but you can swim further in that water and float or swim for hours, which is exactly what I did. I got there at 9 am and left at 7 pm, took a few breaks for food, but a majority of that time was spent either swimming or floating in that water. Stillness. 

I spent most of my time in that water just feeling the waves, swimming, floating, letting them rock me gently before the next soft wave came in, I did this until my brain got quieter and quieter and the waves more abstract. Later that night I reflected on that. I had a similar experience of reality slowly becoming an abstraction once when I took sedatives that slowly made me pass out. 

As I lay in bed that day I could feel the memory of the waves rocking my body and the sensation of floating in the ocean, it was a magical experience.

Stillness, a lesson from the ocean.

Image 1:
Carizalillo, Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca

Image 2:
Zicatella, Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca

Carizallio Beach

Zicatela Beach

Plein Air Paintings: Oaxaca-Colorado

Plein Air Paintings
April 22, 2022 - Ongoing

Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca ·
Chicago, Illinois · Denver, Colorado

An ongoing practice that allows me to enjoy the weather, get lost in the flowers and paint outdoors.

Return to the Ocean

I flew out on 4/20. It was a long day of travel, an overnight flight followed by customs, followed by loosing my baggage resulting in missing my flight. Just when I thought the fiasco was over and I could relax at the airport lounge I realized I had lost my wallet somewhere in the CDMX airport. I was getting hopeless responses from most of the places I back-tracked to that is until coming across a lovely man named Ignacio who worked there and radioed everyone until he located it. Singlehandedly saved my ass. Thank you Ignacio. I finally arrived to my destination 18 hours later. The first thing I did when I arrived to my Airbnb was go to the ocean. I caught the sun as it was about to set.

April 21, 2022: Zicatela Beach, Oaxaca, Mexico

Back in the flow

”Back in the flow”

I had been feeling a distance from painting and the medium, I went to the studio last night and decided to paint something from my reference material to get back into the medium. I took out this book of “Rose Photo Postcards” by The American Rose Society that I had found in a used bookstore in LA. The process of painting this rose brought me back to the imagined landscape reality I had been lost in last year. I enjoyed painting this, it transported me back to the space I had been feeling disconnected from for the larger part of this year. Something also happened while I was painting this, I started to sing. I’m not as much of a singer as I am a dancer, but something about the process made me sing and that was new. Also, spring is coming back and the flowers will be coming out again soon. I think the anticipation of a new season is breathing a new life that was dormant inside of me for the majority of winter, I want to continue to nurture this.

This is a painting using lead white pigment from Windsor & Newton, charcoal mixed with transparent gesso and Belgium linen canvas.

Wendy's Manifesto

Wendy’s Manifesto

1) Life should be fun

2) Live life on your own terms

3) Exercise kindness wisely

4) Follow the path that calls you

5) Understand that everything always works out in the end

6) Feel everything

7) It is wise to change your mind

8) Preserve your peace, preserve your essence

9) Life is a continuous journey of learning who you are, learn

10) Above all, no matter what, always return to love

and always always always be a little mischievous 🧚‍♀️